I spent almost all day today with my mom. It was wonderful. We went to two doctors appointments together, ate lunch together, drove almost an hour one way to look at a crappy grandfather clock that we thought she wanted. Sure looked good on paper. We talked about lots of things but one thing we talked about was relationship problems. Seems mom and dad have them too. She says, “We been married 54 years, he loves me, I love him, he apologized, I apologized.”
You could tell she felt better, but inside was still Hell. Heaven for the time spent, but Hell for the pain. The highs and the lows match, the ups and the downs. All told, love is tough, marriage is tough. 54 years. But 54 years of love together is a big thing actually, a boulder so big and so strong it could blow over any little thing in its path. There is a lot of Heaven that comes with that Hell. Plenty of amazing ups with those downs.
The day before, I spent the whole day with my coworker Hunter. He is in a new relationship. He thinks he has problems. He and his love have been together about 54 days now, not 54 years. He is pondering what married life might be like and the loss of his freedom of lots of little things that he is noticing. Not that he minds all of them, but he is slowly watching bars form around his freedom. They are thin now and far apart, but he can see them closing in.
I want to tell him what he is store for but I can only tell him about the relationships that I have seen and that I have built. As I have watched my dad and his wonderful wife, who happens to be my mom. I have learned that they are paired off to Hell, but their Heaven seems worth it. I’m so proud of my parents for their love and commitment to one another. They are paired off to Hell, but they made Heaven out of it.